Mother’s Day Grief

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Mother’s Day. It’s a day to honor mothers. It’s a day to say “thank you” to those women who birthed you, raised you, cheered you on, and disciplined you. Moms should get breakfast in bed, cheesy gifts from CVS, and lots of slobbery kisses and warm hugs on this special day. I hope all the moms reading this felt extra love and appreciation this Mother’s Day.

But there’s an ugly side of Mother’s Day too. There are mothers who don’t have a baby to hold. No matter how busy they make themselves or how full their arms physically are, they still feel an emptiness today. Their pictures aren’t able to capture all of the evidence that they are mothers. Whether they never got to hold an unborn child, only held a lifeless newborn, or just didn’t get to hold their child long enough, these mothers must fight for to find joy today.

If they’re like me, there were real joy moments. I dressed all of us up in our Sunday best and made us pose for a family photo. I received handmade cards and heard some of their favorite things about me. We ate at Aunt Barbara’s house for breakfast. Best of all, I didn’t wash a dirty dish all day! Aaron and the boys did an excellent job at making me feel appreciated today. Then, I get to eat at my favorite pizza restaurant tomorrow, and Aaron will take the boys shopping at one of my favorite shops. (No drug store gifts this year!) I am blessed by my guys.

Then, mingled in with these happy times, I feel sadness, a deep longing for a child that isn’t part of the gift-giving and words of affirmation. I don’t get cards, gifts, hugs, or kisses from Hannah. I’m heartbroken by the fact that I had only one Mother’s Day with her. Despite my loud, rowdy house and my many boy blessings, I’m overcome with grief today.

But God…God is forever faithful. As I was taking time this afternoon to grieve, I felt God’s presence, His comfort, and His assurance that I am a mother of five. No, my family photo doesn’t show it, but I do have a daughter. She’s enjoying another day in heaven while I’m down here on earth fighting for joy. He has blessed me with five beautiful children. My prayer is that we’ll all by in heaven together some day.

The joy and sorrow dance once again, because my heart still misses my little girl.

So, if you are a mother whose arms aren’t as full as they should be today, I want to grieve with you. I validate your feelings, and I’m uplifting you to the throne of God. He cares for you, and He longs to reunite you to your baby.

One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. Pslam 27:4

Levi is holding a pink rose in memory of Hannah.

Levi is holding a pink rose in memory of Hannah.

Praises and Prayer Requests:

1. Praise God for mothers! I’m blessed by a wonderful, loving, supportive mother who has taught me so much! I love you, Mom! I’m also blessed with a great mother-in-law. I love her too!

2. Praise God for dads too! Today is my dad’s birthday. I love you, Daddy!

3. Praise God for faster internet and more reliable electricity! It should make blogging more manageable.

4. Praise God for a very blessed April! I will fill you in as soon as I have a moment to finish that post.

5. Please pray for all the moms today who are missing a child.

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3 responses »

  1. I enjoy reading you posts because I have a hard time putting my grief into words and when I read them I feel like you know how I’m feeling. I too struggle today. I’m blessed with two beautiful, healthy, full of life little boys but I’m also missing my little girl. Hugs to you and your family Steph.

  2. Oh my dear daughter, my heart has been so heavy today, knowing you must long for your “Sweet Hannah”. Knowing she is with the Lord is a comfort, but we still miss her so much! Sending prayers and love to you…You are such a great Mom and inspiration to many Moms all around the world! May God bless you richly!

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