A Contrite Heart


I woke this morning with a contrite heart. I couldn’t make it through my shower without sobbing before the Lord. “How long, O LORD, how long will you make me wait? How much longer must I live here on this earth full of sin?” No sooner had I composed myself and quoted Scripture of promise to myself than Aaron announced another urgent prayer request. Tears poured forth from my eyes once more. This is the third urgent message we got this week, so this post is a request for prayer on behalf of all the people who expressed needs this week.

While my heart is weary and thoughts of doubt keep entering my mind, I am not shaken. My faith is built on solid ground. I refuse to believe the lies that God is not working here in Africa. No matter how many times Satan may attack me or other missionaries, GOD IS IN CONTROL!!

The song by Steven Curtis Chapman I Will Trust You most adequately expresses the hurt my heart is feeling today in the midst of great faith. (I highly recommend his Beauty will Rise CD. It’s amazing, encouraging, heartfelt and relavent to what we’re going through.) I choose to trust the God of the universe, the God who sees the whole picture, the God who holds each of us in the palm of His hand. He is trustworthy.

Selah Ferguson and Family

Selah is a little girl who was injured during a move. She and her family live in Rwanda where they are missionaries. Despite skull fractures, Selah is recovering. Please read her story and get updates at the Ferguson’s website. Although the last update is positive, please pray for her as she recovers. She may never be the same. Pray for Lance and Tiffany, her parents, as they navigate these difficult days and months ahead.

Murphy Family

The Murphy family just lost their 10-year-old daughter, Christianna Joy. They are missionaries in Zambia. Their other 5 children, ages 1 through 13, were in the house while Rob and Christa (the parents) struggled to save her life with no success. They are scheduled to fly back to the States June 6th for the funeral. Please pray for them. I don’t have a blog or website to share. From the e-mail we received, their faith is strong. In fact, their story is so similar to ours in so many ways. My heart is broken for them. In whatever way you prayed for us, please pray for them.

Aaron Jones and Family

We met Aaron Jones and his wife Sonya this summer during our training for medical missions. They have two little girls. They moved to Kenya to serve at Kapsowar Hospital in the fall. Aaron admitted himself to the hospital last night because he felt like he had irregular heart rhythms. Praise God that this morning his heart rate returned to normal. He will remain at the hospital as a patient today. Please pray that everything remains normal, that he will recover quickly and return to the hospital as a doctor. Please pray for his family back in the States. I’m sure they are feeling helpless. Pray that they will have a peace that only God can give. Pray for this family who is seeking to serve God through their talents. They have a website too.

Psalm 51

10 Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
15 Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.

O LORD, you are God. You are Creator, Redeemer and Friend. Father God, we are a broken people. Delight in us! We confess our doubts, our sins, our misunderstandings. We are unable to comprehend your ways, for they are so much higher than ours. Hear our prayers, Lord. Protect your missionaries. Protect our children. Help us to proclaim your name to the ends of the earth! May nothing  hinder the calling you have placed on our lives. Heal Selah, Lord. Be Comfort to the Murphy family. Go before them as they walk this difficult road. Bless them with your presence, with safe and easy travel, and with blessings unending. Heal, Aaron, Lord. May he never be admitted to the hospital as a patient again! May he be healthy and strong to serve the people you bring to Kapsowar. Use this to make his a better, more compassionate physician. You are good, God. Always good, faithful and trustworthy. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and Redeemer. Amen.


2 responses »

  1. Please pray for me and my family as we struggle daily to understand Gods plan. I understand the feelings of doubt that you are feeling since loosing our daughter and granddaughter March 22,2012. It is a very rough and rocky road we travel. We need the comfort that only our Lord can render.

  2. Sharing your heartfelt sorrow, yet your concern for others is so touching. More than anything, your love and faith for our Lord is so uplifting. We are and will continue to pray for you and for others in the missionary field.
    May God hold you all close, may He keep you safe, give you comfort, strength, wisdom, and blessings. As the tears flow, remember God loves you and we do, too!!

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