As my Mother’s Day comes to a close, my heart is blessed and heavy at the same time. Aaron and the boys did an amazing job at honoring and loving me today. However, I’m sad that I only got 3 cards instead of 4. It may sound incredibly selfish and ungrateful, but that’s not what I’m trying to say. It’s not the number that breaks my heart. It’s the lack of a card from Hannah. It’s that I miss her so badly right now. It’s that I mourn the loss of today, and many more Mother’s Days, with her. Oh, how I anticipated sharing Mother’s day with her many years from now when she too would be a mother…
Again, as my heart is heavy, I must choose joy! Look at these precious children my Father has given me!!
As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m studying the book of James. In one of the lessons this week, I was taken to Deuteronomy 30. It’s right before Moses hands over the leadership to Joshua. Here is what verses 15-16 and 19-20 tell the Israelites who were about to enter the promised land and us who have our own promises of God:
See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.
This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Every day, no matter how I’m feeling, no matter the circumstances, I choose life! I, along with James, choose to “consider it pure joy” when I “face trials of many kinds.” (James 1:2) It doesn’t mean that I’m always happy. Sometimes I’m in physical or emotional pain. Evenso, I need to choose joy. To choose anything else is to live in defeat. I refuse to do that. If God is God, then He is faithful to turn my pain into joy. He would not allow this pain of grief to enter into my life if He didn’t want to use it for good. I trust that, I believe that, I hold onto that every day. And I choose life…because God is my life!
Praise and Prayer Requests:
1.) Praise God that the conference went well and the boys did great. Levi did regress a little, but he’s doing well. I’m really proud of him.
2.) Pray for Jacob. He went to bed feeling yucky and with a high temperature. Although it’s probably nothing, I tend to get nervous anytime the boys get sick. Pray that I don’t overreact out of fear. Pray that I have discernment and that I can care for him appropriately (not too much or too little). Pray for my peace over this. I know it’s normal for me to feel uneasy about tummy aches and fevers as a result of Hannah’s sudden illness. However, I also know that God does not give us a spirit of fear.
3.) Praise God that I got to facetime with my parents today. Technology is great, and our internet has been faster than usual. Praise God for that!!
4.) Pray that Aaron and I will sleep restfully.
5.) Praise God for a wonderful support group. Thank you for all the Mother’s Day wishes. I pray that your mother’s day is blessed!!
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!