It’s been a month.
In many ways it feels much longer since Hannah died. The days are so long. No amount of activity makes the days pass quickly. Surely, it has been more than a month. Surely, I’m more than one month closer to heaven, right?
The answer is a resounding NO, but we are doing well. I see no red flags in the boys’ behavior. I’ve been able to maintain a normalcy in their routines and daily life and yet have a lot of fun doing everything American that we can think of! This week we spent some time in Lahaska at Peddler’s Village. Giggleberry Fair was so much fun!
This is a picture of Superman (aka Jacob) and Batman (aka Levi) in the Giggleberry Mountain. Boys will be superheros no matter where they are!
Then, we went over to Lancaster to see “Noah” at Sight & Sound Theatre. Again, so much fun! We also enjoyed the indoor pool at our hotel.
Three of my four boys pose for a picture. Jacob isn’t quite as adventurous in the water, so he spent most of the time in the safety of the steps. With Aaron’s help, Noah and Levi were under the water, jumping into the pool and splashing all over the pool!
On the way to Lancaster, Aaron discovered some pictures, and even a video, of Hannah on my camera. What a surprise blessing! They are sweet reminders of our precious princess. The video was a vivid visual of Hannah’s voice, mannerisms and mischievousness. Just as we were beginning to feel like we could never keep those memories alive, God blessed us with those pictures and that video!
This one was taken on my birthday. Hannah had such a sweet tooth! She gobbled up the cake and was soon looking for more!
This one is a favorite! She was so pouty when she didn’t get her own way. I’m pretty sure she was upset with me because I was trying to take her picture instead of hold her…
And I love this picture of all four of them! Pretty sure Hannah is wondering why her big brothers are so weird. Shortly after this, Noah and Jacob walked away, and Levi stole Hannah’s sippy cup. She cried and cried. My sorry attempt at a photo shoot is now a true treasure!
We love looking at pictures and video of Hannah. It helps us to remember her. It initiates conversation with the boys. They miss her but they’re able to talk about her and heaven so eloquently. I’m thankful that they are gaining an accurate view of heaven and that they’re looking forward to being there. As part of my grief process, I’ve been spending as much time as possible scrapbooking her life. After spending her entire life feeling guilty for not starting her scrapbook, I’m thankful that I never did. It has been so therapeutic to organize the pictures and write stories about each one in a beautiful (pink and purple and sparkly!) scrapbook.
Please continue to pray for us and to share your stories with us. While hearing the ways God is using our story doesn’t lessen our sorrow, it does give us answers to “Why? Why was it necessary? How is this bringing God glory?” Be assured, brothers and sisters, God is receiving glory!
David praised the LORD in the presence of the whole assembly, saying,
“Praise be to you, O LORD, God of our father Israel, from everlasting to everlasting.
Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all.
Wealth and honor come from you; you are ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all.
Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.”
1 Chronicles 29:10-13 records these words of King David. He was praising God for all the gifts that the people gave to build and furnish the temple. David continued to thank God for the things He gave His people so that they could give back to Him, and then in verse 18 he prayed, “O LORD, God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac and Israel, keep this desire in the hearts of your people forever, and keep their hearts loyal to you.” This is my prayer too.
Father God, thank you for all the gifts you so generously give us. May we use them to bring glory to Your Name, and may we always desire to do so. Amen!