Longing for Eternity


One of the first questions Noah asked after we told him that Hannah died was, “Is Hannah a grown up now?” Of course, I don’t have the definite answer to that. If I had to guess, I’d say she wasn’t 1 anymore. Part of my vision of Hannah in heaven was her growing up as she ran to Jesus. I only saw the back of her. She had long blond hair, but this vision leaves us with lots of questions…

How old is she? What will she look like with more than 2 teeth? What will her voice sound like? I know her mosquito bites are gone and that her wounds are healed, but how does a perfect and complete Hannah look? I long to find out.

I’m discovering that my longing for heaven grows daily. It has a little to do with wanting to see Hannah again, but my desire for heaven isn’t new. I’ve been eagerly awaiting my eternity in heaven because of one reason: my Jesus is there.

I long to be with Him. I can’t wait to spend eternity with the Lover of my soul. And like never before, I desire to be whole. My pain is deeper than I can explain. While I know it will subside as time goes on, I am also aware that it cannot be healed this side of heaven.

Revelation 21:1-4

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Lord Jesus, come quickly!




4 responses »

  1. Steph, last night my husband and I were driving and we heard John Ortberg on the radio talking about Easter. I couldn’t help but think of you and your family. His point was this: many people talk about Good Friday and Easter Sunday, but no one talks about the Saturday in between. Certainly the disciples and Jesus’ family experienced grief and sorrow and despair. And on Saturday, Jesus descended into the depths of hell. So I say to you, this period of time is certainly Saturday. Sorrow, grief, etc. BUT, Sunday’s coming!!! I think of you daily. Pray for you even more often. Thank you for being so transparent. Your story has broken my heart and challenged my faith. Your transparency has also challenged me to grow in my faith and your transparency has helped in the healing of my broken heart for you and your family.

  2. When my son was stillborn, I came to hate the passing of time. It seemed every day that passed was taking me further from our happy life together. One day I realized that I had it all wrong. Each passing day was taking me closer to an eternity with him in heaven. Heaven is so dear to me know.

  3. Dear Stephanie,

    I too envision my 3 little ones in heaven as young women. This occurred to me in prayer soon after their deaths. Sure I do not know, but somehow, it gives me great comfort to know God has given them ‘or will give them’ this gift of healing and growing to earthly maturity.

    Thinking of you daily and praying and know that the pain is always there, the loss too, but time does help to partially heal this great wound you have.

    Sending hugs dearest friend, Diana

  4. Stephanie- Thank you for your words. I feel the same way. I cannot wait to get to heaven and see my sweet baby Jack again. He has been gone 6 months this week and I am hurting more now than ever. You are not alone in your loss or grief. I am writing about my experience as I feel the Spirit lead me here: http://www.JesusLovesJack.blogspot.com With love, Katie

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